Nicky’s Sense of Humor

HE KNOWS ME WELL (audio) (2008)
Nicky's been shopping with me before, so he knows about my favorite brand, "On Sale." This time we were in the supermarket and I was trying to decide about buying butter at THREE POUNDS FOR $5.00. I couldn't make up my mind because I already had several pounds at home in the freezer, but then I remembered my price point was $2.00 a pound. And this was even less, so I finally gave in. That's when Nicky said, "I had you at THREE."

Nicky came to visit me shortly after I posted a web page dedicated to Cody's Sense of Humor. I think Nicky was determined to see if he could equally impress me. Sure enough, he too came up with this gem.

WHAT’S THAT? (2003)
The exterminator had been to the house the day before and gave me a few ant traps to set out. I left them stacked up on a counter where their bright red covers would hopefully attract my attention and remind me eventually to spread them around. What they attracted was Nicky’s attention.
“What’s that?” he asked as soon as he entered the house.
“Those are Ant Traps, I explained. “Ants are attracted by the contents and take the food back to share with their colony and they all die.”
“What’s in it?” his curiosity now fully aroused.
“Some kind of poison, possibly Borax,” I assumed.
Nicky pondered this and then his eyes twinkled.
“No,” he said, “It must be ANT-thrax.”

I just finished explaining the unusual growth pattern of alligators. "If you keep one as a pet, it'll only grow to whatever size container you keep it in. If you keep it in a large fish tank, it'll only grow to the size of the tank. But if you kept it in a bathtub, it'll grow as big as the tub." After mulling this over Nicky said, "So, what happens if you keep it in a lake?"

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Copyright © Yale Schwartz, 2008